that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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