Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
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