I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
