Already got asked if we're dating
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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