This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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