Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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