She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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