i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
