My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
we should paint friendship bongs
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