I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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