also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
