Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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