I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
