The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
