I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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