I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
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I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
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I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize