If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
