seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
