Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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