You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
