I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
