So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
