I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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