Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
