3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize