She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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