i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
