Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
