i was born a porn star she said
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
