I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
