so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
