Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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