I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
soo... how was my night?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
