He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
home. puking in laundry basket.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
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So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
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Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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