You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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