he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
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I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The ass gains better be worth it
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