Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
