last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I licked your asshole in confidence.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
