I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
