I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
