I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
There r osticjed everywhere
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
