He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize