...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just pee around me
And then my night got REAL pukey
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
