now i know why i became what i already was.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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