Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
