then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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