New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
