So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
