as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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