i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
