i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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