Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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