"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Define "chronic" masturbator.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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