i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Help. Why am I so naked?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
