you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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