i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize